Back from the Rock !

Holy crap, if this blog was a plant, it would've been dead and moldy by now :P. Ahahah we are terrible at this I guess, and I blame myself mostly, I mean, I'm on my computer every single day, and I never take the time to write something here, how bad is that ? Anyhow, I should stop bragging about my lack of talent in bloguing, which I do everytime I write anyways :P.

If I remember, last time we exchanged news was via texts, some weeks ago. But I'm not sure what I told you then, so I'm just gonna write about everything that happen since the beginning of the year. Jeez, I hope you are well seated, it gonna take a while to read, and surely to write!

But first, here is my response to your last post:

I loved your post ! Even tho I read it months ago, I realized I never gave you any feedback, which I do sometimes. I'm so happy that you are happy, and hope everything is still good with Nigel. He really seems like a great person, and you surely deserve someone like him :). Oh, how cheezy ! ahahah ! But its true, I mean, nobody deserves to be with a jerk, but you especially needed someone good and interesting, and easy to be with. Also, I totally approve that you like your life, whatever you are doing is cool or not. Who cares ?? And who decides anyways what is cool or not?? Thats crap I say :P. And I totally agree that is better to be with fewer people, but good people, than being with a bunch of fakes, HA ! ^^ Thats pretty much my circle of friends now. Both times I went away for a while, I got to see who was my friends that I still wanted to be with, and cleared some by just not calling them and give news. Its been months now, and I still dont have news from them either. I guess I didnt entertain them enough or something :P. So now I have fewer friends, but most are close friends that I see often and have true fun with, its great :). I think I'm not a crowd person anyways, when theres too much people, I feel confused and end up watching everybody without talking to anyone.

And here it goes for my own post: I went home for 2 weeks at Christmas, it was great to see my family and my close friends. But then I had to go back to Newfoundland soon for work, since they started school on the 3rd :P. But I was happy to go back, I missed the job, kinda ^^. And the second half of my contract was a lot more fun, since I started to see my 2 francophone friends every week-end. We were all working on the west coast, all an hour appart. Andrea was in Stephenville, but from Quebec like me, and Tammy-Lynn was in Port-au-Port peninsula, but from New-Brunswick. I had such a great time with those 2, we got to see a lot of Newfoundland together, we went often to the bar and met lot of interesting people, and have such great stories from all this :). I got to learn some local expression from their hometown too, which was hilarious, and Tammy-Lynn even made a montage of all our pictures and expressions with all the song we heard in the bars we went and made an awesome video. I'm sure gonna miss them, now that we are all back in our hometown, but like you, we are gonna stay in touch. No blog tho, since they all have facebook, and we skype once in a while ^^. Actually, do you know skype ? Because it is a great way to communicate, when it works well ahah ! Like I said, I'm back home now, I already found a summer job in a cafe, I like it, I work with one of my friend, she actually got me the job, I didnt even have to send my resume or anything ^^. Yes, I got a summer job, my plans of going to Europe dropped, since I didnt save enough for my travel, because next year, I'm moving ! Ahahah well I got accepted in Sherbrooke university, in Education, and the city is almost 2 hours away from Montreal, so I got an appartment, I'm stoked about this !! I'm going to live with 2 other monitors who did the same thing I did last year, but one was working in PEI, the other in NS, in Lunenburg. I met them at both our training session in Quebec city and Moncton, and they seem really nice and fun :). So no travel to come, but a moving, which is almost as exciting, maybe ;). That's pretty much whats new for me, oh, and I'm going to do something I wanted to do for a long time, next week-end I'm doing a course for CPR ! I think its important to know this, and its an asset I need, since I'm going to work in schools. I might even get a raise at my summer job, yay ! And I recently got an haircut ! Its short again, but a different way, my sister's best friend cut them, it was about time :P. I'll try to send you a picture somehow. Few, it's not my longest post yet, but I feel its getting long enough now, I'll save up for later... ahahaha which might be next year, at this pace XD ! Again, hope to read you soon, and you are doing well. I dont even know if your home or away.... ? So write soon please, lets revive this blog ! :)

Love,

Robi

:)

Hey Robi,

It's great to hear from you! Glad to hear you are still doing well over there. That really seems like an interesting experience too, even if it is a bit isolating. I've never really taught anybody anything significant in a class setting, and I wonder what that is like? You must enjoy it though, to be going into education! My sister wants to be a teacher too...maybe your paths will cross someday :P

I know excactly what you are talking about when you say you got worried about your family, even though you knew they were fine. Last year, in April, I hadn't seen my family since July and sudden, I just got terrified that somebody was going to die and I would never see them again. I knew it was crazy, but i couldn't shake it! I had to go home! The feeling of being away, yah it's exciting but it's also terrible, to be so far from everybody. I've become more of a homebody too. I mean, I know that I still want to go away, maybe even to live, but now I can also see the value of living in Courtenay, and I will always visit. Family is so important. On the other hand, it is good for us to experience other places, and who knows maybe we wouldn't realize these things without leaving and learning about missing everybody!

My sister is going to Norway for 2 months in April, and it will be the first time for her to be away that long. Her and her boyfriend have been dating for three years, and it's their first time being apart like that too. I think it will be good for her for a million different reasons. At the same time, my heart really goes out to her because I'm not at all sure she realizes how hard that will probably be.

Speaking of boyfriends...
I have one! I really wasn't looking for one. Basically, I had decided that there was just no point because guys all turned out to be assholes anyways and I thought my self esteem couldn't take any more bullshit.
Buttt.....
It seems like as soon as you give up, you find what you wanted all along. I should have given up a long time ago! :P I made this friend at college, Nigel, who I may have told you about before, I can't remember. Anyways, we really were just friends. We would always talk about philosophy, because we were in Ethics and Philosophy of Love and Sex together (what a way to meet someone right). I think it was such a relief for both of us to meet each other, because we are both interested in things that most people don't talk about, and I dunno, I don't really know how to say it other than we talk to each other much more deeply than with other people. We are both living back with our parents after being away and both of us want to try to find a way to live other than capitalism and I dunno, there are many unusual things that both of us have in common.
So we used to be friends and hang out pretty much every day, for months. It became so that I think both of us were really attracted to each other though, and eventually we had to talk about it. It took a while for us to start dating, and at first it was really weird because we weren't used to flirting with each other and we like hardly ever kissed each other and stuff because it was just like, we weren't used to being like that with each other!
We've figured it out by now though lol.
Anyways, I think that we are really what each other wanted in so many ways. He really values me for me and isn't just all about sex or anything. And I like so many things about him, like he's smart, but he also is a very caring person and dependable and really not a jerk. We've been dating for a month now, and we're still getting used to it and taking things slow. Which I think is really good, because we want to trust each other, and really, we are still getting to know each other. There is no rush.
I mean, it's not like everything is always perfect. I mean, I know myself that I am a really hard person to date because I am so bad at talking about my feelings and I really go nuts in relationships because I'm so scared of everything. Nigel is a very steady person, in that he doesn't get worked up easily, thank God, and I think that since we were friends first, we know each other well enough that stuff is just ok, as in we are continuing and things don't get blown out of proportion. It's not like some sudden relationship where if something makes you mad, you just end it.
Nigel is really a great guy. I am so glad we met each other. I mean, I honestly didn't want to be in a relationship.. I avoided it as long as I could!
At the same time, Nigel and I want similar things and there is no reason why I can't do the things I wanted to do before because I am in a relationship. Also, I think Nigel and I can really help each other grow in a lot of ways because we care about each other, and that is really important.
Anyways, I feel really good about this, and I think Nigel is the right person for me to be with and I am really looking forward to getting to know him better and seeing where things go from here...
Can you tell I'm trying not to jinx it? Also, that I am in that phase where I just want to ramble on about him because I like thinking about him so much? Lol.
Other than that, things are pretty uneventful around here. I also don't have much of a social life, and that's fine. I'm still taking some classes at college and I'm really enjoying them. I've been working on my writing too, and I feel that that is also improving, horray! I'm still living with my dad, but hopefully that will be changing soon. My job still is bad, but I'm looking for another one...as usual lol.
I'm feeling a bit less directionless. I think I've figured out that what I want to be is a writer, and I've also started to realize that actually I'm a pretty smart person and I can find a way to use that. It's just not going to be down a conventional path. I've really got no idea what I want to do after April. Nigel and I, when we started dating, both said basically, well we've got until April to figure it out, and things are wide open from there. We both meant it. That's basically how I've been thinking. Until April, I am figuring things out. I didn't want to rush anything. Nigel had that in mind too. And then, who knows. There are tons of options.
Anyways, that's basically an update from this end! I never would have guessed this happening, but there you go! I am happy, and I am so glad to finally feel more on track. Not that I think there is actually a track for me to be on, but I do feel that I am living in a way that is more true to myself than I have recently. For example, I don't really like being intoxicated very often, so I've mostly stopped drinking and smoking, and I like being alone a lot of the time even if it isn't cool, and I like reading for college and I like that Nigel and I haven't had sex yet even though we've been dating for a month (I think it's gonna happen soon though, don't get me wrong, I want it to happen, just I want us both to be ready first). I like so many things about my life that are so uncool, and I like that I am finally accepting that that is how I want to live, at least for the time being. Before I was always so concerned with doing things right, but now I'm not really worried about it.
Anyways, I guess not a whole lot of exciting stuff has happened with me, but oh well :)
It was super nice to hear from you, and I'm glad you're doing well over there. I think university is a good idea, too, even though I also think doing other things is a good idea...haha, I think anything that seems right and will be enjoyable and teach you stuff is a good idea.
There is one good guy I know from Corner Brook. I don't really think he is your type, but he's a super nice guy I went to uni with last year, named Kerry Martin. Yah, he described the place as a bit of a shit show though, but he loved it. He even had a tatoo that represented it on his arm! It doesn't matter though. Whatever you find you find, I guess. I've been thinking about all the good and bad things about being in a relationship lately, since I didn't want to be in one and...well now I am in one lol, and I think that one isn't better than the other. Same with having a group of friends, actually, for me. Like, assuming that you have some kind of social life, like how you teach and I go to college/work, I mean, if you have good friends who you enjoy spending time with, of course that is better, but if you have friends that are manipulative or a bad influence or you feel you have to be fake around or whatever, that's worse. I mean, I think there is really no right or wrong thing to happen.
Anyways, I'm not even sure whether I'm making sense at this point. Anyways, I hope to hear from you soon and sorry for not answering your text, I just thought it would be better to post instead!
Also, that's super exciting that you're going to England! That will be so awesome. Haha, you will come back speaking the Queen's English and putting us all to shame :P
Happy new years to you too, I hope it will be a great one!
Love Edna.

Better late than never.... :S

Hi Edna!

Oh I gotta say, I'm a terrible blogger :P. First, this one, then the one I made for my experience here, to tell all my friends and relatives how I'm doing. Both I haven't write in MONTHS. Unforgivable :S. Well, like they say: "better late than never.." or something like this...
So since the last post, I've been doing my job and enjoy it still. I had a training session in Moncton in November and it was awesome! I got to see some monitors that I met last summer in Quebec city for the first training session, and we hung out every nights! It felt great to live a social life again, hahah. Also, I went home for Christmas, I was really happy to see my family and friends again, I really enjoyed my (too short) stay there, though it felt weird to be home for vacation, then have to leave to get back to my old routine, where it's usually the opposite! I got to see almost every one I wanted to see, and did almost everything too ^^. My mother rented a friends cabin for few days, I skied with my brother, snowshoed with my mom and cousin, and played board games every nights with my aunts, uncles and cousins. I must say, I do appreciate family moments a lot! Mostly because for some weird reasons, I've been worried about them since couple of weeks. Like, I know their are doing fine, healthy, happy and all. Which I'm really grateful. But I started to be scared, because of this. Scared about if anything had to go wrong, for any of them, and I came to realize if it had to happen this year or someday close from now, I don't think I would be able to get over it. It might sound really dramatic and all, but don't worry, I do think about other things too. It's just that it seems I've always taken life for granted, because nothing really serious ever happen to me (the last thing was my parents divorce, but I realize it was for the better anyway). So now I just think about life differently. For example, remember I wanted to start my life some place else than my own province, away from the "known". Now I'm not sure I want this anymore, even though I like being away for awhile, I might not need to live my life entirely away from my loved ones. Oh, how cheezy :P ! Ahahah!

Anyways, that was my reflexion on this beginning of the year. And no, I didn't make any resolutions, bleh :P. And I also made plans for this year. After many reflexions and counting pros and cons on what I should do after my work is done, I decided to start university in September. Yep, Marianne student again, ha! Because I wasn't 100% sure yet about what to study, but my mother convinced me a bit that if I was going to wait another year, I might be even less sure, so I might as well start before I don't want to do anything anymore. So in September I'll be starting university in Montreal, in Education, and I'll be living again at both my parents house. Usually I would have move to an appartment, but I prefer saving this year, and work less. But before starting school, I want to spend my summer traveling! And I know where I want to go now: United Kingdom! I thought about Europe for so long, but then I thought I only have 2 months to travel, I should choose only one part of Europe and really visit it, instead of going throught many countried but spend most time in trains and airplanes. So I want to start my trip in Belgium, because its half the price to land in Brussels beside landing in London. Then I wish to visit the Nederlands, England, Scotland and Ireland. If I have extra time I might go to Germany too, to see my German sister :). But just to think about this, and starting looking for plane tickets is so exciting! I miss traveling a lot, and I don't count my experience here as a trip, since I'm pretty much static, not really visiting unfortunnately (I told you, Newfoundland is not pedestrian friendly :P).

But for now, I have to finish my contract here. And it's going to be a little more challenging in couple of days, since I'm switching school next week, going from a primary/elementary school to a....Junior high! Ahahah, I can hear the dramatic Tum tum tum when writing this! But I'm not scared of the kids, though some teachers are for me :P. My friend in Stephenville was in a Junior High the past months and she loved it. I also think I'm going to like it, since I will get to do activities of another level, and really talk about cultural stuff.

So anyways, that's pretty much what's new in my Newfie world. I still haven't meet any boys, though I don't find Newfie boys particularly attractive :P. But their accent is so..........unique. And sometime really confusing, I still am not use to it, and whenever I talk to a cab driver, a cashier at the grocery store or the handyman here, I have to make them repeat themselves many times, and end up smiling without knowing what they are telling me! How frustrating, I mean, I'm suppose to know English, I'm technically bilingual! Loll, but the Newfie accent is almost like another language only the insular here know.

So I'm going to leave you on this note, since I took enough of your time already ;). Wish you a Happy New Year, pretty late, but like they say: "better late than never" ! ^^
Hope I'll get to read about you too soon :)