Jeez Louise, I can never think of what to call these things. I mean, what is there to say? All I do is ramble, with no planned topic or direction.
Actually, that is something I really need to work on. None of my essays have a "clear thesis". I mean, what is that? I've spent years trying to figure it out!
Perhaps sometime that is what my philosophy paper should be about. What makes a thesis distinct. Well, I think that would only be useful for people who haven't actually studied philosophy academically, which is probably a lot of philosophers actually, and since I don't know maybe I'm not the person for the job :P
Anyways, I'm really proving my lack of direction point without meaning to. Why on earth am I talking about theses? That has got be the most boring topic ever!!
Hmm. Well, today I spent almost 4 hours cleaning my room. Not even the distracted type of cleaning- I was actively cleaning the whole time! Actually, that should give you an idea of just how unbelievably messy, and literally dirty, our room was before this. I removed 3 bags of recycling, 2 bags of garbage, swept up about a pound of dirt from the floor and under my bed...did laundry, washed dishes, and rearranged my furniture. I feel great!
The sad part is that it still isn't actually "clean" haha. Just not a disaster, and that is plenty in my opinion. Actually it was kinda enjoyable...I blasted music and zoned out, and Gwen's gone for today so I had the place to myself. I am feeling very anti-social today, and I feel really good that I didn't spend my whole day being useless like I have on so many Saturdays :P
So far, this semester has been a lot different than last one. I am being much more academically inclined, I've only drank 3 times and never in excess, I've been healthier, and I have had absolutely no play in the boys department.
Yet, somehow, it does not feel like high school :P
Heh heh heh.
Also, I've lost some of the weight I gained last semester...I think drinking less has a lot to do with it. Thank God, I really don't think my self esteem would have survived that much longer haha. I dunno, I think I've just been a lot more introverted this semester. In a good way.
I've been doing yoga more often too, which is awesome! Hallelujah! And tomorrow, I am going to a 3 hour meditation thing with one of the upper years. Actually, it's kinda random how that happened...we had like, one conversation in frosh week and have just seen each other occassionally since then and said hi, but never talked....you know, one of those people.
He is the leader of a society at Kings, and they were going to the meditation place on Wed, and I got an email for it (tho I have never done any of the other society things) and I saw him one day, and asked if I could join. He said yah, and told me where to meet etc...and my friend and I went to go, but actually we got the time wrong and they left without us...oops :S
Then, to embarrass myself further, I was like, oh I think I know where it is! Because it was called the Shambalah meditation centre, so I thought it was Hindi, and I thought I had seen some Hindi writing on a building down the street....we walked there and my friend burst out laughing. Turns out I had taken us to a Jewish synogague and it was Hebrew! Hahaha, good lord what a disaster.
THEN, that night some friends and I were coming in from smoking a joint, and who should walk by, but Wesley...typical! He was like, where were you earlier? And I was like, trying to explain, but I was so high... at King's being high isn't anything to bat an eye at so it didn't matter, but then I walked away and realized I had agreed to do meditation with him on Sunday, but hadn't remembered any details of our plan, if there were any. Oops...
Then yesterday, I had just gotten out of tutorial, and was walking past the Wardroom, which is our campus bar, and a coffee shop during the day, and Wesley was outside it (I have never seen him so often before) and was like, hey, do you want to get coffee? I was like uhh.... (I have such a way with words...NAWT! :P) And he was like, yes you do, come on. And so we walked in and he bought me coffee, and we sat down and had this really philosophical conversation, about like, what is reality etc. Actually, I was lost for parts of it I won't pretend I have developed quite that capacity to understand things yet....We talked about other things too...it was a good conversation, anyways. And now we are going to meditation on Sunday morning.
I have thought about it tho, and I am not interested in sexual relations with Wesley. For one thing, it would be too typical. I have heard him referred to as Wes-TD (Think: STD), and that is just not attractive. Also, I have few male friends at King's and I really miss having platonic males in my life. So yah, hopefully this is the beginning of a good friendship. Also, I'm really looking forward to the meditation, its good to feel centered.
Anyways, I have rambled long enough!
And I hope that story was interesting...it was just so random haha.
I hope to see a new post from you soon! (Hint hint... :D)
Love Edna
Jan 23, 2010
Jan 21, 2010
Adulthood
My first post of the year, yay! Ahaha well it's about time you might think, and you're right! Gosh, it seems that the inspiration was at his lower these last weeks. Although I did lots of stuff. Like, you were saying you stopped drinking and partying the whole time, it's kinda the opposite for me, which I find great! Well, I'm certainly not going out every night, I couldn't, but I do more stuff with people and having more fun time than the past months :). Like that one night I went to a restaurant with 3 other friends, we arrived there around 11pm and the purpose of our visit there was to get dessert, but they were all hungry so they ordered whole plates and I got to pick on them, because I was still full from my previous meal. So we sat there for maybe 2 hours, and then we drove to one of my friend's house to play board games, which we all havent done in years, I mean, with friends. Because we never thought about it while we are with people because we always think they'll find it lame, but it is so fun! So we started that Taboo kinda game, but didnt exactly follow the right rule, like we werent counting points, ahaha no competition here, and we had so much fun that way. We were just laughing the whole time and talking, until around 4am I think, it was awesome. It's amazing how simple it seems, and how enjoyable it is :). Those are my kind of fun time, no big party, no crowds, no need to get drunk just for the purpose of it, just big real fun. 'Cause thats one thing I can admit, I'm not the kind of person who always needs to be surrounded and party every night. I can enjoy a fun night in a bar, but not that much often, and it all depends with who I'm with.
Speaking of acquaintances, well, kinda.... Have you realize, as we grow older, how it matters what you're up to in your life? I mean, when you meet up with someone you haven't see in a while, or when you talk to your relatives, they always ask you about your scolarity and your job? And sometimes, they don't even care about your answers, they just ask so they won't look "unsociable". I have my own idea on what they're thinking instead...
Example: "-Hey, long time no see! Whats up? Where are you now? (Probably the same since last time, pffff)
-Hi, well I'm in college studying Social Sciences. (Last time I saw her, she ask me the same damm question, what a retard )
-Really? Cool, and what are your plans after? (I knew it, eh boy, she is so boring)
-Humm, I'm not sure, I'll probably go to university, but don't know yet in what program... (Like she'll remember, whatever I answer, she probably won't care)
-ok.... (ackward.... What an empty answer, what am I suppose to say after that :P)
-But I might take a year off between the 2, to travel or something... (Why would I tell her that? She doesn't deserve more information about my life, we'll probably won't see eachother for another couple years, I hope :P)
-Alright..... (Ugh, traveling. What a pathetic option. I might ask her where, but it's even less interesting) and do you have a job outside college?
-Yep, in a bakery (But I wont tell her where, hell no)
-Cool, do you like it? (Pfff thats probably why she looks so huge since the last time)
-Yah, it's fun (like she expected me to say NAWT, loll)
-ok..... (whatever, I might as well just tell her about my life, which is alot more interesting)
Ahahah, ok, the conversation aren't always that sarcastic, well I hope so. And I know it's really common to ask those question, so they look like they care about the other person life. And it something to realize how time is guiding us. Meaning you always ask about the past, like what that person did all those years you haven't been in touch, then about what they're up to now, like present occupation, and relationships, then what are they're future plans, like job, appartment, kids even sometimes. Anyways, it's so different than what we were use to as kids. I guess that's growing up, to be aware of all this, instead of just the coming day.
All this reflections about growing up because the thought that this year I'll be 20 hit me. OMG. Twenty, it's something. It's actually HUGE. No more teen. I mean, I never really felt like a teen since i was like 14. You might hear me on this. And I always dreamed about being 21, and I KNOW that my best years are ahead, like between 25 and 30, but to explain it will be even more complicated that any thoughts I wrote about since the beginning of the blog. But being actually 20, it's frightening. As stupid as it seems :P. Of course it's frightening because I compare myself to other 20 ers and I don't find myself fitting in. I don't think like an adult, I don't act like one either. I again have some examples.
- I still fight with my brother on who's gonna sit in the front seat whenever we use the car and I'm not driving
- I still watch kids movie.... alone at the theater
- I still spend too much at the candy store
- I still read cartoons, in the bathroom :P
- I still ask my mother if the clothes I'm wearing match together
- I still miss the bus I should take to be on time at school or work, too much often :S
- And finally, for the moment, 'cause I can't think of anything else, I do still try to avoid walking on sidewalk cracks ^^.
All that, even if I'm mature, according to some people. How weird. Loll it's complicated to be the right age, isn't it? But I guess it all depends again with who I'm with, to determine my (mental) age, ha! And I know I shouldn't be thinking of how am I suppose to act depending on who is with me, but they do influence how I behave :P.
Anyhow, that's pretty much how I feel right now, adding the fact that I'm finishing college this semester and I "should" be registring for university by March 1st, ugh. I mean, I have no intention of doing this, because I know I will be traveling or having any kind of adventure, whichever, but I kinda had an argument with my mother about this and, well, it's frustrating.
But to end this long post in a good way, I went last night to this outside electro party, which happen only once a year during 3 week-ends, it's like a festival. Tho I don't like that much electro music, it was amazingly..... AWESOME!! It was so much fun, the beats were great, the crowd was dense tho, so you had to not be claustrauphobic :P. But it was a great night, fun like I haven't have in a long time, in a party I mean. And I might even go again next week, can't wait :D ! Ahahah, so that's it for now, well I think it's getting quite long anyway, hope it didn't take you too much time to read it :). Wish you a great week, and inspiration for a future post :D
-Robi XxxxX
Speaking of acquaintances, well, kinda.... Have you realize, as we grow older, how it matters what you're up to in your life? I mean, when you meet up with someone you haven't see in a while, or when you talk to your relatives, they always ask you about your scolarity and your job? And sometimes, they don't even care about your answers, they just ask so they won't look "unsociable". I have my own idea on what they're thinking instead...
Example: "-Hey, long time no see! Whats up? Where are you now? (Probably the same since last time, pffff)
-Hi, well I'm in college studying Social Sciences. (Last time I saw her, she ask me the same damm question, what a retard )
-Really? Cool, and what are your plans after? (I knew it, eh boy, she is so boring)
-Humm, I'm not sure, I'll probably go to university, but don't know yet in what program... (Like she'll remember, whatever I answer, she probably won't care)
-ok.... (ackward.... What an empty answer, what am I suppose to say after that :P)
-But I might take a year off between the 2, to travel or something... (Why would I tell her that? She doesn't deserve more information about my life, we'll probably won't see eachother for another couple years, I hope :P)
-Alright..... (Ugh, traveling. What a pathetic option. I might ask her where, but it's even less interesting) and do you have a job outside college?
-Yep, in a bakery (But I wont tell her where, hell no)
-Cool, do you like it? (Pfff thats probably why she looks so huge since the last time)
-Yah, it's fun (like she expected me to say NAWT, loll)
-ok..... (whatever, I might as well just tell her about my life, which is alot more interesting)
Ahahah, ok, the conversation aren't always that sarcastic, well I hope so. And I know it's really common to ask those question, so they look like they care about the other person life. And it something to realize how time is guiding us. Meaning you always ask about the past, like what that person did all those years you haven't been in touch, then about what they're up to now, like present occupation, and relationships, then what are they're future plans, like job, appartment, kids even sometimes. Anyways, it's so different than what we were use to as kids. I guess that's growing up, to be aware of all this, instead of just the coming day.
All this reflections about growing up because the thought that this year I'll be 20 hit me. OMG. Twenty, it's something. It's actually HUGE. No more teen. I mean, I never really felt like a teen since i was like 14. You might hear me on this. And I always dreamed about being 21, and I KNOW that my best years are ahead, like between 25 and 30, but to explain it will be even more complicated that any thoughts I wrote about since the beginning of the blog. But being actually 20, it's frightening. As stupid as it seems :P. Of course it's frightening because I compare myself to other 20 ers and I don't find myself fitting in. I don't think like an adult, I don't act like one either. I again have some examples.
- I still fight with my brother on who's gonna sit in the front seat whenever we use the car and I'm not driving
- I still watch kids movie.... alone at the theater
- I still spend too much at the candy store
- I still read cartoons, in the bathroom :P
- I still ask my mother if the clothes I'm wearing match together
- I still miss the bus I should take to be on time at school or work, too much often :S
- And finally, for the moment, 'cause I can't think of anything else, I do still try to avoid walking on sidewalk cracks ^^.
All that, even if I'm mature, according to some people. How weird. Loll it's complicated to be the right age, isn't it? But I guess it all depends again with who I'm with, to determine my (mental) age, ha! And I know I shouldn't be thinking of how am I suppose to act depending on who is with me, but they do influence how I behave :P.
Anyhow, that's pretty much how I feel right now, adding the fact that I'm finishing college this semester and I "should" be registring for university by March 1st, ugh. I mean, I have no intention of doing this, because I know I will be traveling or having any kind of adventure, whichever, but I kinda had an argument with my mother about this and, well, it's frustrating.
But to end this long post in a good way, I went last night to this outside electro party, which happen only once a year during 3 week-ends, it's like a festival. Tho I don't like that much electro music, it was amazingly..... AWESOME!! It was so much fun, the beats were great, the crowd was dense tho, so you had to not be claustrauphobic :P. But it was a great night, fun like I haven't have in a long time, in a party I mean. And I might even go again next week, can't wait :D ! Ahahah, so that's it for now, well I think it's getting quite long anyway, hope it didn't take you too much time to read it :). Wish you a great week, and inspiration for a future post :D
-Robi XxxxX
Jan 6, 2010
Merry Christmas, Happy New year, and to all a good....everything!
Hello!
So, there are a million and one things I could write about since last post, but I will just start with recent. Another time we can catch up on other things :)
Everyone is back at King's now, as of the 3rd, which is wonderful. I have given up drinking for this month and become a vegan, and I feel SO much better than I ever have at university! Praise the Lord! I was getting so unhealthy, so it's good to clean out my body etc. I thought that it might be boring to be sober when everyone else drinks, but it is still hilarious lol.
Last night, Gwen and I built a snowfort outside our residence. We were just bored and decided to do that. At first, we were like, do we need a reason for this? People are going to think we are crazy! But then we realized that we are not exactly known for our sanity anyways and went ahead and did it. It was so much fun! We were giggling and joking and carrying on, and people, especially males, kept stopping by to talk to us, so it was a real social event! None of them helped us build it, but they all wanted to give us their input as to how to make it better. Typical.
But yah, it was a good time. Will the alcoholic destroyed it later on last night, but since we iced it hopefully it seriously damaged his foot, that asshole.
One of the passersby was Aidan, and his friend Nigel. Actually, they came a couple times because they are quite avid smokers. I am pleased to say that we are legitimate friends. Like, things aren't awkward and we still get along etc etc. Thank God. Also, I think we are still quite (ok, well very :P) attracted to each other, but I do not think we will be getting back together. So I think that is a good situation. No confusion etc. Maybe sometime we can just casually hook up instead... heh heh.
Hmm, what else? I have gone back to absolutely loving King's. It is a great place. Also, now that I am single and am free to interact with males without wondering whether I am accidentally flirting with them etc., some old friendships are re-emerging. Not that I have my eye on anyone, just I have noticed it happening.
Due to our eccentric behaviour, I feel that it is possible that Gwen and I have the most fun out of anyone at King's. At the same time, I know this isn't true, but we do do a lot of hilarious things and spend time with very hilarious people...the jokes are at times exhausting, but it is a good time every day, which is wonderful. Haha, and yah I never told you about our shrooms adventure! We had absulotely the Best Night Ever!!! (We have a certain voice we use when saying that haha)...basically we ran all around Kings, and every single thing we encountered was an incredible discovery. And boy did we ever discover things! Its hard to describe, but it was absolutely amazing and SO much fun in every way. We laughed so hard and basically wreaked havoc around the school (and earned ourselves a meeting with the Dean, but since it was so close to the break it never happened, thank God!) But yah, it was great. What a bonding experience haha.
Anyways, I gotta go to class...Galileo's descriptions of the surface of the moon are of course, essential to my education hahaha...good lord.
Love Edna :)
So, there are a million and one things I could write about since last post, but I will just start with recent. Another time we can catch up on other things :)
Everyone is back at King's now, as of the 3rd, which is wonderful. I have given up drinking for this month and become a vegan, and I feel SO much better than I ever have at university! Praise the Lord! I was getting so unhealthy, so it's good to clean out my body etc. I thought that it might be boring to be sober when everyone else drinks, but it is still hilarious lol.
Last night, Gwen and I built a snowfort outside our residence. We were just bored and decided to do that. At first, we were like, do we need a reason for this? People are going to think we are crazy! But then we realized that we are not exactly known for our sanity anyways and went ahead and did it. It was so much fun! We were giggling and joking and carrying on, and people, especially males, kept stopping by to talk to us, so it was a real social event! None of them helped us build it, but they all wanted to give us their input as to how to make it better. Typical.
But yah, it was a good time. Will the alcoholic destroyed it later on last night, but since we iced it hopefully it seriously damaged his foot, that asshole.
One of the passersby was Aidan, and his friend Nigel. Actually, they came a couple times because they are quite avid smokers. I am pleased to say that we are legitimate friends. Like, things aren't awkward and we still get along etc etc. Thank God. Also, I think we are still quite (ok, well very :P) attracted to each other, but I do not think we will be getting back together. So I think that is a good situation. No confusion etc. Maybe sometime we can just casually hook up instead... heh heh.
Hmm, what else? I have gone back to absolutely loving King's. It is a great place. Also, now that I am single and am free to interact with males without wondering whether I am accidentally flirting with them etc., some old friendships are re-emerging. Not that I have my eye on anyone, just I have noticed it happening.
Due to our eccentric behaviour, I feel that it is possible that Gwen and I have the most fun out of anyone at King's. At the same time, I know this isn't true, but we do do a lot of hilarious things and spend time with very hilarious people...the jokes are at times exhausting, but it is a good time every day, which is wonderful. Haha, and yah I never told you about our shrooms adventure! We had absulotely the Best Night Ever!!! (We have a certain voice we use when saying that haha)...basically we ran all around Kings, and every single thing we encountered was an incredible discovery. And boy did we ever discover things! Its hard to describe, but it was absolutely amazing and SO much fun in every way. We laughed so hard and basically wreaked havoc around the school (and earned ourselves a meeting with the Dean, but since it was so close to the break it never happened, thank God!) But yah, it was great. What a bonding experience haha.
Anyways, I gotta go to class...Galileo's descriptions of the surface of the moon are of course, essential to my education hahaha...good lord.
Love Edna :)
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